…i was recently told.

I’m not myself? How? What did i do?

I am unsure yet, really…it has bee a series of things that have been going on with my life.

My book is essentially stagnant at this point. This i have been sending copies to Mexico for schools to share i was deeply disappointed to get little to no response from family at all. At one point it was suggested by someone that it was shameful…ignorance, tends to take a front seat when they haven’t even read it. It is disappointing, as i wrote it in great part thinking of them, but i cannot force them into anything and i cannot resent them for simply not caring.

A few other things have happened, some i have managed to address and others i simply have to learn to live with, but i must and will stay positive. I still have general good health, i have great friends, i have a career i am proud of and a current position that is providing the challenge i asked for.

Loneliness however is not a feeling i have ever gotten used to, but i also have to admit i am where i am by my own choice. I will also change it, by my own choice. Physical closeness is needed, emotional closeness, to grow and share with someone special. I wonder if that is a lot to ask sometimes. I must admit sometimes it has been too much to ask, and we open ourselves up to much hurt in the process. It’s a risk we take again and again, and for good reason.