today seems difficult, more so than others. thoughts race through my head that i know from long experience have little to do with reality, yet slowly become my reality. they encumber my mind. they come as uninvited guests trampling on my created peace, but i must admit they are mine nonetheless.

and that is what makes them different now than they were years ago, when i struggled to understand why these thoughts ran through me as if to try and strip my flesh. they are no longer disowned. they are mine. they no longer wants to strip me bare, but still have a need for my attention as if a child wanting to nurse. to fill themselves from whatever energy they find in me. i feed them willingly, as i have found that doing otherwise will simply bring us both despair. so i feed them. willingly, and take from them the energy they bring, dark, foreboding, callous, egotistical energy that i then try and transform. sometimes i am successful, others…i prefer to think there are no other times…that one way or another, we both find what we need, and so i no longer disown these demons, for they are mine.